Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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