she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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