he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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