And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
