so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
