I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
