He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
