A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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