I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
