3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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