would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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