I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
