sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
