i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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