Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Is her dick bigger than yours?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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