I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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