i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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