I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
