cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
