They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
