I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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