My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
