too bad you live with your parents still
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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