You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
