does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
