Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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