just come out here and I will go home with you...
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
