You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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