You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
