Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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