is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
