i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
