this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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