My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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