Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
