The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
