woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
