There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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