I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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