Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
