I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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