i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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