Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
