Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
