So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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