plz talk dirty to me
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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