Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
