At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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