i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
