we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
